


Random cartoon shit

by KingofQuills



Category: Amphibia (Cartoon), The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Gay, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm very immature, Multi, Not Beta Read, Sometimes life is just cock and ball torture without the cock and balls, Suck my ween, Why Did I Write This?, You don't like it?, gay shit, idk - Freeform, lol, maybe some angst?, this is bastard country
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingofQuills/pseuds/KingofQuills
Summary: Random cartoon shit lolI own nothing
Relationships: Amity Blight & Edric Blight & Emira Blight, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Anne Boonchuy & Sasha Waybright & Marcy Wu, Anne Boonchuy/Marcy Wu, Anne Boonchuy/Sasha Waybright, Boscha/Willow Park, Edric Blight/Jerbo, Emira Blight/Viney
Comments: 45
Kudos: 276





	1. Would they vibe to 100 gecs?

**Author's Note:**

> Bored, fucked around and wrote this. Enjoy

Luz:

-Um, of course

-This girl gecs, and she gecs H A R D

-She def goes to their concerts

-Tries to get Amity into them

-That went about as well as you’d think

Amity:

-Does not vibe AT ALL

-At first 

-Slowly warms up to them

-Closeted geccie

-Hums stupid horse while working on homework

-Doesn’t even realize she’s humming

-Listens to them in her hideout

Eda:

-“wtf is this and why do I like it?”

-Mixed feelings

-“This sounds like when you mix adderall and Hennessy.”

-Yeah she has a problem

King: 

-Mans is the hardest geccer of them all

-He goes w i l d for them

-Low-key thinks Laura is hot

Lilith:

-Listened to money machine once and it almost killed her.

-“Wha…wha…?”

-Needs wine afterwards

Edric and Emira:

-Pretty sure these two 𝘢𝘳𝘦 100 gecs


	2. Couples watching a horror movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thought this would be cute, enjoy
> 
> Warning: Sexual jokes, nothing explicit though

Luz and Amity:

-They try to watch one.

-Keyword: try

-Amity ends up getting mad at all the inaccuratcies.

-"That is NOT how witches work!"

-Luz Is afraid 

-Or she's faking so she can cuddle up with Amity

-Probably the latter

Willow and Boscha

-They attempt to watch one, too

-To no avail, that is

-Bocsha is jealous

-Willow is giving attention to something that isn't her

-Lays her legs across Willow's lap and pouts 'til she notices

Matt and Gus:

-Made the mistake of picking out "The Autopsy of Jane Doe"

-Gus pauses every 5 minutes to explain his theory

-Matt just wants to watch a damn movie

Emira and Viney:

-Viney wants to watch

-Emira does not

-"What, is there something else you'd rather be doing?"

-"Yeah, you"

-"eMiRa!"

-Viney is r e d

-This goes on for a while until Viney gives up on watching a movie

Edric and Jerbo: (does anyone actually ship this? Eh, it's cute either way)

-Yet again, they TRY to watch a movie

-Ed's kinda dumb

-"Is that Channing Tatum?" 

-"No, that's Morgan Freeman" 

-"Are you sure?"

-"Yes, Edric"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spent 5 minutes laughing at how my phone autocorrected warning to wang
> 
> If you have any suggestions for what I should write next in this, lemme know
> 
> fun fact: The Autopsy of Jane Doe is one of my favorite movies


	3. Cute stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute stuff, enjoy

Luz x Amity:

-Hugs Amity form behind while she's trying to study

-"Luuzzzz"

-"What are you doing?"

-"Studying, you should be too"

-" I did, I just finished studying you. I've come to the conclusion that you're the most beautiful thing in existence"

Willow x Boscha:

-Boscha sits down on Willow's lap

-"Give me attention!"

-"Boscha, you just got up from my lap 5 minutes ago"

Matt x Gus:

-"Matt, do you think you're gay?"

-Matt looks at Gus

-"Yeah, probably"

Emira x Viney:

-Viney's laying her head on Em's lap

-Em likes seeing Viney blush

-So naturally she's always thinking of new ways to make that happen

-Looks down at Viney

-"Y'know, kissing is the language of lovers, wanna start talking?"

-"Yeah"

-"Wait, really?"

Edric x Jerbo:

-Jerbo's wearing a 'kiss the cook' apron

-Ed enters the room

-They make eye contact for a few seconds

-Jerbo knows what's coming

-He always does this

-Ed runs full speed at him 

-Slams into Jerbo so hard he knocks him over

-"You okay?"

-"Yeah"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff  
> If you have any suggestions for this book, lemme know
> 
> Fun fact: Dipper Pines was my first crush


	4. Pick up lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I got no excuse for this, enjoy

Luz x Amity:

-"Hey Amity"

-"Yeah?"

-"Even in zero gravity I'd still fall for you"

-"That was really dumb, Luz"

-"So am I, but you still love me"

Willow x Boscha:

-Bocsha walks in room

-"Alright I'm here, you got two wishes left"

-Willow doesn't get it

-"What?"

Matt x Gus:

-"Did you just come out of the oven? Cause you're super hot"

-"Shut the fuck up, Gus"

Emira x Viney:

-Em sits down next to Viney and turns to face her

-"I'm peanut butter, you're jelly. Let's have sex"

-"eMiRa, wHaT tHe FuCk?

Edric x Jerbo:

-"Hey you! You should kiss me"

-"That was not a pick-up line, Ed"

-"Yeah, well...still, you should"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going through a list of pick up lines and knew I had to do this.   
> Spent 10 minutes laughing at that peanut butter and jelly one. 
> 
> As always, if you have any suggestions for this book, lemme know
> 
> Fun fact: I have the humor of a 12 year old boy


	5. Them as songs I like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bored as shiiiiiiit

Amity: Little Miss Perfect - Taylor Louderman & Joriah Kwamé 

Luz: One Foot - Walk The Moon

Eda: Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill

King: King - Lauren Aquilina (lol) 

Willow - Flesh Without Blood - Grimes

Gus: Hey, Soul Sister - Train

Boscha: Chic Chick - Poppy

Emira - I Threw Glass at My Friend's Eyes and now I'm on Probation - Destroy Boys

Edric - K Street Walker - Destroy Boys

Viney: Youth - Troye Sivan

Jerbo - Mr Brightside - The Killers (idk why I just feel like It fits him)

Lilith: Oh No - Marina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm tired, don't ask
> 
> Fun fact: My favorite song is Strawberry Lipstick - YUNGBLUD


	6. Amity listens to Yungblud

Amity listens to Yungblud. That's it, that's literally the whole chapter. Good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wing it like witches happened, and that made me cocky. Cause my personal headcannon that Amity's athletic was confirmed. So if I'm acting like I'm better than everyone else that's why.
> 
> But then! Agony of a witch happened, and…well, that's…that's what I'm here for. A cartoon hadn't broken me in awhile, and then TOH shows up, and I'm like: "this looks like it has the potential to tear me apart." And I got what I wanted. I am but a snail at this point and I'm waiting for Lilith to step on me and finish me off.
> 
> Fun fact: there are not enough willow stans in this fandom, my girl deserves better.


	7. Hot Take

The illusionists coven is just the Boiling Isles' version of theater kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now that the first season's over, TOH fandom how we feeling? Personally I'm fucked up in every sense of the word. IDK about y'all, but the finale was great imo! I knew Lilith was gonna get some sort of redemption, plus Luz telling Eda she loves her, was just 👌, also baby Eda added 20 years to my lifespan. Welp now that season one's over I'm just gonna spend the hiatus writing fanfiction til Disney gives us something (I have a really sad fic coming y'all's way so be prepared) 
> 
> Fun fact: my favorite colors are pink, green, & yellow.


	8. Would they swear?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tequila
> 
> (Sorry if the spanish in this chapter sucks, I use google translate)

Amity:

-You'd think little miss perfect here, would have a clean mouth, right?

-WRONG

-little bitch swears like a sailor

\- only in casual settings tho

-she has standards

*Stubs toe* "mOTHERFUCKER

*Drops books in school hallway* under her breath, "goddammit"

"What the fuck is this?"

"Well shit, where the fuck is my diary?"

"Ed, did you take my diary?" "The fuck do you mean, you don't know?!?"

"Ed, fuck you, you did take my diary!"

*Under breath* cheeky cunt.

"My brother's such a dick, I swear."

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"ASSHOLE!"

*grumbles* "fuck you, pissface."

"I hate this fucking family."

Luz:

-she would NEVER swear

-in english

-only swears when she's angry/stressed/sad

-it's rare, but it happens

*Knocks over drink* ¡Mierda!

*Stubs toe* ¡Hijo de puta!

*To Emperor Belos* ¡Vete a la mierda, gilipollas!

*Shit just goes wrong* ¡Maldita sea!

Willow:

-Only when she's alone

-said 'fuck' in front of Luz once, and the universe almost exploded

Willow: Fuck.

Luz: *GASPS* Willow Ambrosine Park, you watch your language!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started watching Amphibia, might write something for that, idk.
> 
> Fun fact: ur gay


	9. sexualities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cause almost no one in this show is straight, and we all know it

Luz: pretty sure it's a universally known fact that she's bisexual

Eda: also bi

Lilith : ngl, she was kinda homophobic at first, but she eventually comes around

King: ace/aro, i honestly can't see him having feelings for anyone. the king of demons has no time for all that mushy stuff!

Hooty: he does it for the girls and the gays, that's it!!!

Amity: lesbian, OBVIOUSLY

Em: queer

Ed: Pansexual. as a pan myself, I can sniff out other pans from a mile away, and edric? oh yeah big one

Mr Blight: not really homophobic, but his wife is, and he's a doormat when it comes to her

Mrs Blight: big homophobe, 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮

Willow: pansexual

Gus: SUCH an ALLY, this man would die for the girls and the gays. are you really surprised tho? this man EXUDES king energy, we love you, gus ❤️

Viney: this girl EXUDES bi vibes- are you kidding me?!?! there is no way she's straight!!!

Jerbo: gay 

Boscha: she puts the bi in bitch

Skara: ally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before y’all jump on my dick about how you can’t tell someone’s sexuality by their looks/personality, I know that. this was done purely for funsies. These are fictional characters, lighten up a little & stop being a buzzkill, damn. Anywaaaay… The first chapter of my new fic, “But I’m a Blight” should be out soon. Schools really fucking me up here, and I’m really trying to give y’all something, so be patient with me. If you couldn’t tell by the title, my newest fic is based on the wonderful movie “But I’m a Cheerleader”. Fantastic film, if you haven’t already seen it go watch it, (it’s free on YouTube as of now). 
> 
> fun fact: but I'm a Cheerleader is my favorite movie.


	10. cartoon characters that are not straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not really owl house related, but i don't have anywhere else to put this, so... enjoy!

connie (steven universe): bi, i don't make the rules, she's bi.

star (star vs the forces of evil): also bi (i think it was even confirmed, but I'm not 100% sure) 

jackie (svtfoe): also bi, they even gave her a girlfriend!!!

janna (svtfoe): DO NOT try to tell me this girl isn't some flavor of queer, FUCK OFF with that bullshit

tom (svtfoe): he kinda gives off bi vibes, but I'm not too sure, he could just be a straight boy that deserves rights

gwen (camp camp): bi vibes, major bi vibes

anne and marcy (amphibia): is it just me, or do these two both give off major pan vibes? i don't know, maybe I'm just projecting

to suggest that anyone in the owl house is straight is extremely homophobic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case anyone needs a reminder: this was done purely for fun. these are fictional characters. don't take this too seriously, & come at me with a whole speech about how you can't tell someone's sexuality by their appearance/personality, I know that. this isn't based on appearance or personality, it's based on v i b e s. (since i do have a pretty good gaydar.)
> 
> anywaaaaay…I know this isn't toh related, but i don't have anywhere else to put this, & I need to share it with people…so yeah. 
> 
> not alot of notes for this one, I'm still working on "but I'm a Blight", so keep an eye out for that. take care, y'all 
> 
> fun fact: poggers


	11. UPDATE

so, basically this isn't an owl house only work anymore, it will now include amphibia, because that show is cool. that is all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people who like the toh, but not amphibia don't make sense to me, like, there's so much gay subtext I just-  
> 👌😩👌
> 
> fun fact: I am, or at one point was, a part of the following fandoms:  
> warrior cats  
> gravity falls  
> miraculous ladybug  
> mlp  
> creepypasta  
> steven universe  
> over the garden wall  
> star vs the forces of evil  
> south park  
> camp camp  
> avatar: the last airbender  
> the owl house  
> amphibia
> 
> so if you like any of these: cool, I like you


	12. dear liberals, if black guys aren't scary, then how come my wife's vagina starts crying whenever she sees them? - 🅱️en🅱️hapiro

hey y'all! I just wanted to say i'm sorry for not posting anything, school's really kicking my ass here, and I havent had time to write. i'll try to get something out soon, but still, be patient with me please


	13. couples theme songs (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> look who finally decided to start writing again

luz x amity: she - dodie

luz x willow (I see you willuz stans, I see you): riptide - vance joy

willow x boscha: gengis khan - miike snow 

emira x viney: check yes, juliet - we the kings

edric x jerbo: haven't had enough - marianas trench

camila x eda: halo - beyoncé

eda x odaila: wonderland - taylor swift

anne x marcy: use somebody - kings of leon

anne x sasha: using you - mars argo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder that these are all just my opinion, you disagree? cool, good for you! 
> 
> fun fact: despite being my favorite taylor swift song, wonderland is✨painful✨ for me to listen to.


	14. rating the halloween candy I got this year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imagine being a Gay Republican™🤮🤮🤮🤮 
> 
> (yes I am getting political on here, no I do not care if you don't like it. you're welcome to leave)

10/10 kitkats  
-i love these!  
-love the c r o u n c h  
-i like to peel these apart & eat them one layer at a time.

9/10 butterfingers  
-haven't had these in ages  
-love whatever the fuck it is that they put in the middle  
-1 cause it gets stuck in between my teeth

8/10 starbursts  
\- unexplainably juicy  
-l o v e these

7/10 sour patch kids  
-love sour shit  
-3 because the sour coating comes off & then it's just a regular gummie😐

6/10 fruit gummies  
-i love fruit gummies  
-4 because they're not really candy

5/10 Tootsie rolls  
-these are still around?  
-they're hard as balls

4/10 lifesavers  
-😐  
-really?  
-the old people of candy

3/10 yoo-hoo chocolate  
-these were really gross 🤢

2/10 granola bar  
\- seriously?  
-whose idea was it to put these out???  
-old people I swear, can't trust 'em

1/10 protein bar  
-wtf????  
-these aren't even good!!?!?  
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮  
-nasty ass motherfuckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, I know this isn't toh/Amphibia related but I love halloween suck my kok


	15. who I think would win in a fight

luz vs star (svtfoe)

personally I think this would be a very fair fight, both star & luz have hands & they're not afraid to use them, BUT, i believe luz would win. we all saw how she got in ybos, she can be really aggressive at times, get her in that zone, & star's ass is grass.

amity vs connie (steven universe)

now y'all know I love amity, but let's be honest, she's taking the L here big time. connie's a fighter, amity can be a bitch at times & that's all she's got.

eda vs stan (gravity falls)

I feel like they wouldn't get into a physical fight, just a really loud screaming match. they'd be so loud & irate that it would be impossible to determine a winner. 

willow vs marcy

willow would rock Marcy's shit & we all know it.

Boscha vs Pacifica

they're both bitches, but boscha's a sports player. p's going down.

gus vs dipper 

in my opinion, gus is winning. hear me out, dipper may have helped save a whole town, but he's always been kinda weak physically speaking, gus got spirit, if he wants it bad enough he's got it.

ed vs em

I feel like they'd just completely fuck each other up, & it would be the funniest shit to watch.


	16. Tiktok time

Luz: All I want, is for a girl to kiss me. And that's all I've ever asked for, WHaT do I GEt inSteAd? audited by the IRS-

*

Amity: I hate my family!!!

Amity's family: AMITY!

*

Luz: Just found out I can turn water into urine! Call me peesus.😎

Luz to God: It was just a joke, please let me into heaven.

*

Luz: Alright, no more Mr. Nice guy. *puts up hood.* How the fuck do you spell medieval?

*

Luz during the election: No, don't turn red! Blue's so sexy :(

*

Ed: *Going down the stairs, sound effecting his steps with a harmonica*

Amity, right behind him: Edric, this is why you're- *falls*

*

Sasha: Hi! I'm Sasha and these are my emotions :)

Sasha's emotions: Swag 😎

*

Marcy: While trying to enjoy my jovial evening, I've come to find that my favorite website, poptropica, is fucking banned on the school's network! Little do they know they're messing with an absolute cyberfreak😈

Marcy while hacking: C'mon cyberfreak show 'em!

Marcy, tearing up: It's not banned on the school's network! I'm just banned from the website for constantly asking the other players when they think the pope will die.

*

Sasha: IF YOU SAY "POGGERS" IN THE JFK VOICE FROM CLONE FUCKING HIGH ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!

Anne:

Anne: pawgghers

*

Animated characters that have no right to be attractive: Ed and Em

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word
> 
> I'm gonna start ending these chapters with a question, feel free to answer if you want.
> 
> What was the first toh fanfiction you read? Mine was Light On Their Feet, by CainWolfbane


	17. Lilith attempts to teach via zoom. feat. my awful sense of humor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in class, bored as fuuuuuuck.
> 
> FYI. this is the boiling isles version of zoom, I've never actually used zoom in my life.

*Lilith has started a meeting*

*orifice joined* *pp woman joined* *coolguyed joined* *plantsexual joined* *cuntbizkit joined* *iwannamarrymyclone joined* *gitaur_licker joined* *future_human_face_sucker joined* *ishitmypantz joined* *pussydestroyer69 joined*

plantsexual: wait, who's who?

gitaur_licker: well, I'm sure we all know who edric is

coolguyed: it's me😎

*future_human_face_sucker has left the meeting*

pp woman: lmao amity left

iwannamarrymyclone: I literally have no idea who luz is, like if you asked me to guess I couldn't. these all sound like usernames she would use

ishitmypantz: how do we know you're not luz?

iwannamarrymyclone: how do we know YOU'RE not luz???

coolguyed: she could be any one of us!

orifice : guys, I'm right here

cuntbizkit: ew

gitaur_licker: ngl, I thought she was pussydestroyer69

orifice: 

orifice: bruh

orifice: y'all really thought

plantsexual: yea

iwannamarrymyclone: wait, if you're orifice, then who's pussydestroyer69?

Lilith: Get out of my meeting, Edalyn! 

pp woman: lmao eda highjackin the meeting

*Pussydestroyer69 has kicked Lilith from the meeting*

orifice: ajkfdvggutgvf eda no

Pussydestroyer69: now the real fun can begin

plantsexual: we still haven't figured out who's who

cuntbizkit: @plantsexual well you're obviously willow

plantsexual: the hell you mean 'obviously'???

cuntbizkit: "plantsexual" who else could it be?

orifice: well in that case, you're obviously boscha

cuntbizkit:

plantsexual: oop

iwannamarrymyclone: kjfzvgddgyy

cuntbizkit: anyway

cuntbizkit: orifice is luz, plantsexual is willow, guitar_licker is Skara, iwannamarrymyclone is gus, pp woman is emira, coolguyed is edric, Pussydestroyer69 is eda, and I'm pretty sure ishitmypantz is king

ishitmypantz: damn you're good

*BamityAlight joined*

BamityAlight: ed & em, fuck you both

pp woman: what'd we do?

BamityAlight: you hacked in here last night and changed all our names to stupid shit. 

BamityAlight: you two are so immature

coolguyed: silence, future_human_face_sucker

*BamityAlight has kicked coolguyed from the meeting*

Pussydestroyer69: how come yall didn't change my name?

pp woman: cuz yours was perfect just the way it was

Pussydestroyer69: aw

BamityAlight: seriously em, out of all the names you could've picked you went with pp woman?

pp woman: yeah

BamityAlight: why?

pp woman: im a feminist 😎

Pussydestroyer69: wait, king why are you here?

ishitmypantz: to cause some general mayhem of course

Pussydestroyer69: can't argue with that

*coolguyed has joined*

coolguyed: you guys wanna play a game?

BamityAlright: no

orifice : yeah

coolguyed: it's called how many toothpicks are on my bedroom floor. u have to guess how many toothpicks are on my bedroom floor

orifice: three

coolguyed: no it's two

coolguyed: I just added one, now how many?

orifice: two

coolguyed: no, luz

orifice : wait what?

iwannamarrymyclone: I always wanted to know, what kind of animal is king exactly?

ishitmypantz: I'm a demon

orifice: lobster

cuntbizkit: watermelon

pp woman: I think it's a heron

BamityAlright: it's a shoe, dumbass

cuntbizkit: hey you guys wanna hear about all the times I've thought about setting luz on fire? spoiler alert, it's a lot!

plantsexual: I've never had a class go this far south this quickly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't funny I know


	18. Memes I made when I was bored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have no idea how these are gonna turn out, might have to zoom in

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so funny, it should be illegal


	19. WHY??????

WHY DID PEOPLE READ THIS, LMAO????? And why do they continue to do so???? Of all my works why is this my most read? I put my heart and soul into practically every other fic I've published, and you’re telling me that the one of me just dicking around in google docs is what gets over 500 reads? Bullshit/j

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, I'm not complaining, it's just odd.


End file.
